Sputtering Out

I think and think and think about how badly I need to write some things down... be it here or elsewhere. I think some more about it.
By the time I do something about all that thinking: I'm out of time- out of energy- tired.
Curse this stinking hole of a life I've made for myself.
I think that gets me more than about anything else. No matter how much I search for a scapegoat, the only one I can blame for my circumstances is myself, in some way or another.