Merry Christmas to everyone who may stumble across this little posting.
I'm just fine today, and happy to report it. Tired, but happy.
If anyone comes across some words, could you package them for me, I'm hoping that mine come back soon, for I miss them. I'm hoping that my latest schemes to move out of my 'rent's house lead to a rebirth of my etch-able ebb and flow.
And I'm hope, truly, that you all have a very Merry Christmas.
I think I avoid posting here, which is quite amusing, because that's why I made the account- to post, to write, to... have it. Done. Why am I afraid to write, to open? Was I hurt too much by how much of myself I put into it? What can be done to begin again? I think I am a little afraid, that's why I don't post- I'm afraid I'll open up and let it all out. And I don't want people to know what I'm thinking anymore, I don't think... hmmm.
I'll have to see what happens over the next few months, where I wind up. I decided it's time to move out of mom & dad's place and strike out on my own, where I can make my own decisions, organise things the way I want them organised, and not have to worry about their problems. I feel for them, I'm bummed that the current economic situation is causing them stress, but I can't emotionally handle staying here to "help out" not that I've been much help since I've been here.
I'm starting to sound juvenile to myself, am I being selfish? AGH! NO! That's the same cycle I get caught up in EVERY SINGLE TIME! So, I'm outta here in a few months, no debating. All I have to do now is get my stuff sorted and figure out just where I'm gonna live.
Anyway, it's Christmas day and I've got a phone call to make. :)
~oceanmemories
Thursday, December 25, 2008
And I Hope
Posted by ~Oceanmemories at 05:10
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2 comments:
i saw a therapist for some time about a year ago. she explained to me that my emotions, issues, thoughts, words, whatever you wish to call them, where like clutter in your childhood bedroom.
you stuff the clutter into the closet and close the doors, giving the impression that all is clean and fine in the room. however when that clutter is too intense for the closet doors to hold back, it all comes spilling out. if this spill was overwhelming, or if i looked around and didn't "even know where to start" then it cause a shut down. the whole sleep in bed all day thing. once i had slept enough strength back up, i'd shove it all behind the closet doors again and wait...in dread...that those doors would fly open at any moment.
the only way to combat this cycle, is to decide that you will work on one thing until it is resolved and move onto the next.
you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time.
it takes time.
it takes a lot.
but it is worth the peace of mind that comes, when you can finally rid your closet of all the issues, baggage, unfaced emotions and hurt and finally use your closet for it's purpose- clothing.
<3
Elephants are delicious.
Pudding Pies make good friends.
Merry Christmas Jen-eye.
:)
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